One of the most pervasive myths that surround autism
is that a child who has it will never show affection and can’t
accept getting affection from anyone. There have been literally
piles of stories of parents taking their child to a psychologist and
the doctor telling the parents that your child can’t possibly be
autistic because he gives you a hug now and then. While this opinion
is just flat wrong, studies have shown that autistic children do
process sensory touch differently than a non-autistic child and that
this is where the myth that autistic children don’t like to be
touched comes from.
Autism and the way it affects kids really runs the
gamut from light to severe. An excellent point to remember when
dealing with an autistic child is that every single autistic child
is different and will react to almost everything differently. Here
are some tips for showing your autistic child affection, and
remember, your experience may vary.
• Trial and error. For some kids with more severe autism, a simple,
random hug can be sensory overload. They can become agitated, upset
and even violent if they are touched without prior warning. You will
probably need to have a trial and error approach when it comes to
hugging and touching your autistic child. Some methods may be
responded to in a positive way, other ways won’t be. You just have
to try and see.
• Let the child come to you. If you think your autistic child needs
a hug, instead of rushing into his personal space and just taking
one, speak to the child, bend down to his/her level and open your
arms. Smile and let the child know that they are loved and see what
the response is. If they don’t come running in for a hug, don’t be
offended, it may just not have been the right time for the child.
• Try hand signals. If your child is too sensitive to hugs or
touches to show affection, you can try positive reinforcement in
addition to hand singles. Things like a simple thumbs up accompanied
by a smile and some positive comments can let the child know they
are loved and what they did was good. You can also offer the child a
chance to hug during these situations and they might just take you
up on it.
• Make sure everyone is on the same page. If you, the parents, are
starting to make progress on getting your autistic child to be more
affectionate, you don’t need a sibling, teacher or grandparent who
doesn’t know or understand your child’s boundaries messing up all of
your hard work. If you’ve begun to implement an affection program
with your autistic child, make sure everyone who would possibly try
to hug or touch him/her knows the rules. Consistency and repetition
are crucial to autistic kids, and this applies to a situation like
this, as well.
Trying to figure out a puzzling condition like autism can be a
lifelong challenge. For many parents, the affection issue may be the
biggest. But with patience and learning to go by the child’s cues
and not your own, you will be able to connect with your child in a
deep and meaningful way.
There are many more resources and information about diagnosing,
controlling and treating Autism in, The Essential Guide To Autism.
Recent studies have shown that there is
currently a worldwide autism epidemic. In fact, more than 1.5
million people are affected in the United States alone, with one in
every 250 children diagnosed.
It's true that early detection and early treatment are the two key
factors in improving prognosis -- but too often parents get bogged
down in denial or confusion about this still mysterious disorder,
and are unable or unwilling to take the necessary steps.
The Essential Guide to Autism contains advice and information that
will help you make the right treatment decisions for your child.
Today, many youngsters can be helped to attend school alongside
their peers. Some programs are demonstrating that with appropriate
support, many people with autism can be trained to do meaningful
work and participate fully in community life.
All of the materials on this site have been included for the purpose of
providing general information, and they should not be relied on as a
substitution for professional advice.
